You really want to know what happened to us? I was sick of dealing with all your bullshit. Half of the time what we had was amazing, you gave me butterflies, and I was so comfortable around you. But that was only half the time; the other half you acted like an asshole. One day you loved me and the next it was like you couldn’t even stand to be around me. I opened my eyes kid, I don’t deserve someone like you, and honestly I feel sorry for the next girl because she will be left just as broken as I was.
I know how you feel: disappointed, stupid, and foolish. Just when you think he could be everything you ever wanted, he turns out to be someone you never thought he’d be. It hurts to know you let your walls down for nothing.
It took so much time but I finally realized that I couldn’t fight to stay when all you wanted me to do was leave. I couldn’t miss you when you never missed me. I couldn’t care when you didn’t at all. I just can’t try anymore. You kept my hopes up for much too long and it was about time they came crashing back down it earth. It was time that I started thinking about myself again and not you. It was time for me to be strong. It was time that I let you go. It’s about time I be happy. It’s about time I leave you behind.
I want to be hard to forget. I want to have the kind of impact on you where you know you’ll never find anyone to take my place. I want that because that’s what you were to me. I want it to hurt maybe just a little bit when you see me. I want to be friends but to do that you need to understand what you put me through. That way you’ll know why I am the way I am now. I don’t want to put you through something on purpose because of what you did to me. But if we are going to be friends, really friends, you need to see us from my perspective.
She’s moved on and I feel sorry for you because she thought you were the most amazing. If she could have had any guy in the world, she would have picked you above all the others. She thought you were different. She was wrong. You’re just another one of the guys to her now.
I hate what you have done to me. You’ve made me afraid to fall in love, afraid to care about anyone, afraid to trust anyone. Ever since you left, after all the broken promises, I can’t trust anyone. I can’t get too close to anyone. I’ve built a wall so high around myself that no one can get it. You’ve made me like this. Every time someone new comes into my life I distance myself so much from them that they leave. You’ve been the cause of all the dysfunction in my relationships and you have no clue because you’re still a part of my life. I care about you so much that I’ll never tell you any of this.
I’ve become a real believer in not defining every single thing. It seems like every time you think you’ve figured out what something is, it just becomes something else. So just live your life, make the best out of the worst, and smile as though nothing can tear you down.
Please know that there are much better things in life than being lonely or liked or bitter or mean or self-conscious. I know your heart may be badly bruised but it will always heal, even if you don’t want it to. It keeps going. There are the most fantastic things and people out there. I promise. It is just up to you to find them.
I’m a straightforward kind of girl. If you ask me what I’m thinking, I’ll tell you, no sugar coating. Because that isn’t what life is about. It is about dealing with the pain that comes along. It’s about using that pain to make yourself a stronger person. All that I ask is that if you’re going to tell me how you feel, don’t lie.
